cider for spider

i am feeling a bit depressed/out of sorts right now. i did something to my back and it hurts very much and i am also queasy. oh well. i went to school today, it was alright i guess. i was too bored to pay much attention though. sebastien gave me a femme fatale poster. on saturday i went to blow up but before that i went with ebm to davy love's house where there was a keg of delicious cider. mike went back to ottawa on sunday and i think it triggers my depression whenever he leaves because i go into hibernation and gorge myself for a day or two and then i just feel bad and bored and all around unpleasant. i had this dream last night where i was back in halifax and i was watching my own life as a spirit or ghost or something and when i was six years old i got very sick and died. on the night i died there was a blizzard. then i would try to follow my parents and console them and let them know i was actually still alive but they couldnt hear or see me. then the dream lost its integrity and i'm not really sure what happened. something about a bio engineering summer camp, fast cars, and forests. bla bla bla bla.